If you, or someone you know, is stuck in life right now (for whatever reason), don’t be discouraged.
But don’t be in denial either. This may sound strange, but accept the fact that maybe, all this ‘bad luck’ was supposed to happen for a reason.
1) Understand What Got You There
“In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it.”
When people generally say they’re ‘stuck in life’, it could mean many things. Some are like who suffered from a tragic loss and now they don’t know what to do after that. Others could be living the dream – but they feel empty and stagnant inside.
For a few folks, they might have given up on their dreams, convincing themselves that following the practical route is best decision nowadays.
Whatever the reason, feeling stuck is normal. At some point, everybody goes through with it. It’s different for everyone, and it could happen to both the young and old. But the important thing is to acknowledge that yes, YOU are stuck – but that’s okay.
Whether you’re at the crossroads of a job change or you’re grieving from a loss, allow yourself to be stuck. Feel everything that goes with it: the emptiness, the misery, the lonely nights. Cry, shout, laugh, and cry some more.
When you allow yourself to feel all these, you’re unknowingly letting go of what binds you.
When you allow yourself to immerse in the experience of feeling stuck – you can begin to understand WHY it happened. And there’s no better peace than finally knowing why you felt the way you did.
2) Keep Moving Despite The Odds
“Sometimes you have to do things when sad things happen.”
According to life coach Stephanie Zamora, it’s important that we take action despite feeling stuck in life.
A) Check in and get really honest with yourself.
Is it really that you have no time, or are you afraid of taking the next step? Do you really need to rest and recover, or are you avoiding and procrastinating?If you have a reason why you can’t do something every single time you need to take that next scary step, you’re probably making an excuse. Do you really, absolutely can not function unless it is done, need to clean the house before you can sit down do something that’s going to be uncomfortable? Do you really, absolutely don’t have another moment and never waste a minute on Facebook or watching TV, not have the time to do what you said you would do to move forward? Really truly?
If you check in and you truly do need some downtime so you don’t get sick, or you really do just have too much on your plate, that’s okay. Life happens, things come up and self care is essential to reaching your goals. Just be sure to check in honestly.
B) Figure out where you’re stuck.
In my Foundations program, many people get stuck on certain modules and begin to feel like they’re falling behind because they aren’t able to move forward. My mantra is always, “you’re exactly where you need to be and if you’re getting stuck on something, it’s something you really need to work on.” It’s 100-percent true.
If you take a moment and really pause with what you’re stuck on, rather than trying to push right through it so you can keep moving forward, you’re going to find that there’s something you need to deal with. A limiting belief, a story you’re telling yourself, a doubt or fear, something you’re not clear on or need support with, etc. You’re stuck where you are because there’s something blocking you.
Take the time to investigate what’s really coming up for you. Where are you stuck? Why do you feel like you can’t move forward from this place? What are you telling yourself about the situation? What do you need to be clearer on? What support do you need to finally take the next step forward on your journey?
C) Remember that you are making progress.
You may not be exactly where you thought you’d be (or want to be), but you’re still moving forward. The fact that you’ve come to a place where you’re getting stuck means you’ve moved forward and away from the comfort zone in your life, relationship or career. When we’re in a rut or stagnant in our lives, we may feel discontent or unsatisfied, but we’re rarely challenged and therefore rarely hit blocks.
You’re being challenged and that means you’re making progress.
If you want to keep making progress, you can’t push yourself into the zone of stress, overwhelm, unrealistic expectations and added pressure. That doesn’t serve you. There’s a very fine line between the kind of pressure, accountability and goals that help you move forward and those that only hold you back and make you feel like crap.
D) Make it a point to check in and re-evaluate what you’re doing.
This is so important and so often overlooked. Just because you said you’d do X doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind or do something different. Until we start working the plan towards our goals and dreams, we don’t know what’s really going to work and what’s not. You have to constantly check in and assess where you’re headed, what you want, what’s working and what’s not.
Make it a point to check in every two to three weeks or once a month. How are you feeling about this goal? Does it still excite you, is it still something you want? What’s working for you and what’s not? Where do you need to change your plan, expectations, strategies or goals so that you can keep moving forward without overwhelming yourself? If you don’t want this anymore, why not? What would you prefer instead? How can you make shifts to support this newly desired direction?
Take action now!
Where are you feeling stuck or like you’re not where you’re supposed to be? How can you be gentler with yourself and begin to see the progress you are making? Where do you need to check in to uncover what’s really happening for you or what changes you need to make?
Remember: change is inevitable. Even if you don’t decide to move, things will happen eventually.
After analyzing your feelings and immersing yourself in a whirlwind of emotions, this is the next logical step. And believe it or not, you’ll eventually find yourself doing something despite nagging doubts, loneliness, or fears.
You don’t need to immediately do something drastic for it to be called action. Simply falling into old routines is enough. Not only does this serve as a distraction, but it’s also an avenue for life to bring you better opportunities.
Continue going to work, doing household chores, visiting friends, or volunteering in your community. Often, the best way to get ‘unstuck’ is to stick with old habits. After all, our routines provide order in our chaos.
You’re Stuck in Life Because You Need To Be
“That’s the thing. Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you’re not really losing it. You’re just passing it on to someone else.”
Years from now, you’re going to look back at these incidents and laugh about them. You’ll smile at the thought that once upon a time, you felt lost and afraid. One day, you’ll share how you overcame these challengeswith your grandchildren.
Maybe the reason why you’re stuck in life right now is because you NEED to be. Perhaps you’ve been going too fast. This is probably life’s way of telling you to ‘slow down’. During your reflections and in your solitude, maybe you’ll realize the answer.
Or maybe not.
But in the meantime, have faith that all things pass. Troubles end, and day follows the night. Dreams die so new ones could take its place.